October is here again; the obligatory post or video needs to be made because I’m part of this club that somehow, I became a member of. Not a willing participant at all, as nobody is in these kinds of clubs, but nonetheless it’s something I’m part of.

I sit back and think of all the new people that have come into my life over this last year because of this disease. I also sit back and think of who is no longer here because of this disease.

I have said this before and I will say it again, I hate everything about this month. I hate the word “awareness”, I hate the color pink, & most of all, I hate that they continue to promote mammograms and early detection as some sort of cure or prevention for breast cancer. So, what do I want them to concentrate on? Stage IV, breast cancer that has metastasized; METS. The breast cancer that people are dying from. The one that early detection doesn’t do anything for, the one that needs the most attention. The one that is too scary to talk about, so they don’t, instead they make you think that if you catch it early, no matter what, all will be good. Bullshit.

I’m what METS patients refer to as an “early stager”, one of the lucky ones. Someone that cannot begin to understand what they go through daily. I agree with that statement. How could I not? At this moment I show no sign of disease (term oncologist uses), something that they do not have the luxury of hearing. EVER. They will never hear that statement. Let me say it again, someone with Stage IV will NEVER hear that they have “no sign of disease” in their lifetime. They will die from this disease. I cannot compete with that, nor would I want to. This is one of the main reasons I never joined a cancer support group; I never wanted to be “out-cancered”.   This is of course is not a competition, but when your world is falling apart that’s really all you are thinking about, YOUR world.  And how bad it is in YOUR world & nobody could have it as bad as you. This isn’t always the case & I’m not ashamed to say, I wanted it to be all about me, and I didn’t want to hear about anyone else’s story, because, it wasn’t my story.  I would be lying if I said I don’t understand someone looking at me and my situation and thinking that I had it easy. I get it, however, I still had cancer and I’m entitled to feel how I want with no conditions and no feelings of guilt for being one of the “lucky ones”. In addition, I have a 30% chance of this asshole coming back into my life so I’m going to be grateful for this moment & I’m not going to compare my story to anyone’s because that’s not fair to me or to them. But, what I will do is stand up for what I think should be done, and to me that is fighting for the proper research for the people who cannot fight anymore.

So, how do we do that?

DON’T get sucked into the pink hype. Don’t presume that the pink water bottle you just purchased is going to send any proceeds to a breast cancer organization. Anyone can put a pink ribbon on an item, the ribbon is not regulated & this fact is not known by many. I assumed at one time that anything I bought that was pink or had the ribbon was helping the epidemic, it was a cruel reality to find out that wasn’t true.

DON’T assume that anyone with stage IV (METS) must have missed their annual screenings, ignored a lump or didn’t notice a change in their breast. Unfortunately, some women diagnosed with late stage breast cancer were diligent about their annual exams or had no signs or symptoms.

DO donate to worthy breast cancer charities. There are some great organizations out there; one for example is metavivor.org, all proceeds go towards research and finding a cure. These are the people that need our money, these are the people who are trying to make an actual difference.

DO understand that being “aware” isn’t just about mammograms, early detection, and catchy taglines. It’s about knowing that this disease is relentless and doesn’t discriminate. It’s about knowing that every 14 minutes somebody dies in the US from breast cancer. It’s about knowing that stage IV is incurable.

Lastly, what you can do this October is schedule your screening no matter your age. If you have read anything I have written in the past you know I will always push for proper screening. So, whether it’s a mammogram, ultrasound, or an MRI, find the right method for you and be consistent. Because even though you can do everything right and still get cancer, in a lot of cases, catching it early can help stack the odds in your favor.